at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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