oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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