One girl and one boy is just not enough.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
