I wannas sexs uuuuu
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
