Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
