The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
