I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
