You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
