If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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