Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
