Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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