i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
