My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
