i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
