did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket