please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
