Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.