Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.