FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.