If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
