Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
A+ Viking dick
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
