Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize