Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
