That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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