if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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