Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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