I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sex on roller skates
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means