Whod you bang
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.