Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking