Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful