Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize