she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
