no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
