I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
