Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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