my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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