It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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