I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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