I don't remember. Are we still dating?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize