do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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