This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
