have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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