I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
