so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
