He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
