He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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