normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
