Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
