I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos