I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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