He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
