My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
