Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
