Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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