Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize