I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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