You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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