He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
