My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
