we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
