that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize