I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
