soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize