I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
